The feeling in my tummy.

I’ve had a total of 5 jobs throughout my short past. 5 jobs. I’m no stranger to first day jitters. Yet for some reason, this new 6th job has got me “buggin’ out.”

I got the job at the beginning of May and even as I signed a few papers it didn’t seem real. I had to wait a little less than a month to actually get started and get paid. It’s not exactly the best job in the world nor the most high-profile but after the disaster that was my last job, being hired was one of the best things to happen to me in the last two years.

If you know me or stalk me on the internet, you know I’ve had a rough start to my adulthood. It began and was grand for a short while then I lost it. I had the entire world in my bare hands and then I snapped and it fell out and its taken me a while to get myself back together. I’m still working on it. I see the growth and frankly, I’m extremely proud of myself.

Anyway, I got stuck in this soul sucking, monotonous, miserable job. I met some great people but other than that, it’s the worst job I’ve had. I would sit around trying to figure out a way out of it. I searched for jobs to no avail. Until one Thursday afternoon. I hadn’t eaten that whole day and had absolutely no food and was on the verge of tears when I decided to listen to the advice of many people both friends and family…and applied to Whole Foods. I wasn’t very hopeful. Sure I had a ton of work experience but it’s notoriously difficult to get a job there. I didn’t think I’d “fit in” so to speak as I’ve gained a lot of weight and am not exactly the most attractive o healthy person. I figured, what was the harm in applying, right? It’ll be in the system and if for some reason they should call me, great! And if not, oh well, I had a job. I was thankful for at least that.

A week passed and I received an email from them telling me there would be a job fair next week for a brand new store opening and I (and many others) were invited. I was SO EXCITED! It meant that I had a small chance of getting a new job and making more money which I would then save and then move out and then save more money then finally move out of my hometown permanently! Getting this job would be the key to making this happen.

To cut a long story short…I obviously got the job! It’s been crazy fun and I work with such great, nice people who are also happy to have this new job. We spent a few weeks leaning logistical and a lot of theoretical stuff but no hands on training since the store wasn’t open. This aspect made me a little more nervous the closer the opening date came. How would I do? How are my customer service skills? I’m fairly moody…I don’t want to get fired. I need to work on that. So many thoughts ran through my head, mostly the fear of fucking up…until last week when they unleashed us to the public for a preview.

I had the pleasure of working at an open store and experiencing working at a Whole Foods for the first time. It wasn’t so bad, guests were nice, fellow co-workers were nice and didn’t get too mad at me when I messed up drawing on the cakes. Ha…that was funny (you had to be there.) It calmed my nerves a bit.

I’m just a terribly nervous person. I get so flustered and frustrated and I’m shit at socializing although I’ve improved so much. There’s just been so much hubbub around the new store opening that I knew was there but as the day got closer and closer it got even more scary. So much pressure from the entire city to do a good job! Luckily I’m in a fairly easy department but I’m just so nervous about being asked questions. I’m not used to it.

I’m sure in a month or two, I’ll be over it and hopefully getting closer to second nature. Yet right now, the night before my first day at my permanent store for jebus knows how long…I’m nervous as hell.

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