Lately I’ve been thinking about moving to Philadelphia instead of my original plan to move back to NYC. I figure I’m young so I can do these kind of things so why not? I brought this thought up to my mom randomly while we were having a nice pleasant supper of Popeye’s and she just starts being so obnoxious, telling me why would I want to do that and I have no family there and I came back once (when I was a retarded 19-year-old in love, mind you) and I’m just like never mind I was just talking out of my ass making conversation I don’t want to talk about this.
Then, (this is the fun part), I got up and I’m like “I don’t want to talk about this, I’m going home.” I’m the one trying to be a mature human being about the escalating fight and then she’s like “You’re gonna end up like your aunt,” who is a middle-aged single lesbian who dropped out of UT Austin to become a bartender and is now an alcoholic working at a taco restaurant. Then I reply with “Wow that’s positive reinforcement,” I get up and BAM!
My mom just threw a remote at me and called me a “cunt”!
Cool. My mom is awesome, right?
I’m steadily walking away and my mom is hitting me and throwing things at me telling me I’m a horrible human being and I’m a giant failure and I walk out the door. All because I mentioned I wanted to move to Philadelphia.
People wonder why I am the way I am. Friends ask me why I have such low self-esteem. Behold, it is my mother which is the root of all problems. Most women have daddy issues, whilst I have the most severe of mother issues. If she’s not careful, she’s going to go the route of Jennifer Aniston and her mother.
I love my mother, I do, but only because I kind of have too. She’s not totally awful and I understand she’s just worried about me but she is so insanely different from me that it makes things very difficult.
I’ve changed immensely in the last few years. Not only do I look like a different person (kinda), I feel like a new man. I’m very proud of the super awesome lady I’m becoming. Part of it is letting go of my mothers overbearing ways. When I lived with her I had terrible self-esteem. I hated life and I had no friends. I never had any urge to do anything or look good. I sometimes feel sad that my mother doesn’t support me like other parents do, but that’s just the way she is. I can’t do anything about it and its time to stop hating myself for it. Me, myself and I! That’s all you should worry about in the first place.